Heaven Help Me

I wish someone had warned me.  I didn't know this smell thing would be this bad while I am pregnant.  I avoid some places because of the smells.  I have tried sitting with the congregation at church but there are too many different smells and not all of them good, so we sit in the lobby with the fresh air.  I have had many a conversation/argument about what Bre can get for lunch at work.  With us sitting 3 feet apart what she decides to have for lunch makes a big impact on the rest of my day.  It all started one day, early in the pregnancy, when she brought in Panda Buffet, it was all I could do to hold it in and not vomit in my trash can.  Since then we have had many discussions, some of them a little heated and absurd, about what she can get for lunch.  Usually she is very good about it, but today, man whatever she got is not good at all.  I was talking with someone at church who said that there is no need for a blood hound when a pregnant women is around, and I have come to learn how true that really is.  I have been able to pick up and get sick from the coffee stench at work that is clear across the room.  Ross has looked at me like I'm insane a couple times cause I could smell some things he couldn't and he puts up with me covering his face with a pillow when his breath is not pretty.  I think the spicy breath is the worst part of.  Some things at my home have gone un taken care of because of the smell.  I had thought as the sickness goes away so would the smell factor but its just as strong.

Yea for arms

Yesterday we got to have another ultra sound.  Its still so amazing to me that there is a living, growing thing inside of me.  Today's ultrasound was very interesting to me.  One of the first things both Ross and I noticed at the same time and commented on at the same time was that it has arms.  That is very good to know (no, we weren't that concerned).  Then I noticed that you can actually see the heart inside its body, it was beating away and you could see each beat of the heart.  The tech then showed us more of the body and we could see the little legs, it was on its back with its legs indian style, all folded up.  The tech was trying to get a good picture of the face and when we saw it, I don't know what to say other than it was bizarre.  We could see the face bones and the skull.  Ross commented it looked like a daemon spawn and that I must be right about Ross being a daemon.  It was just so weird to be able to see the face but just the bones.

Its so weird to look at a baby and be able to see the spine, but you can see the arms this time up by its face.  I am almost a week away from being able to see the gender, too bad I didn't put the appointment for next week.  But we have to wait until our next appointment to find out the gender.  The little thing doesn't move very much so I was told to drink a coke or something I don't normally drink next time to see if we can get it moving and hopefully show us its goods.

Spread like wildfire

I am sometimes amazed at how fast word spreads sometimes.  I think at least half my ward knows that I am pregnant and we only told like 3 people a week ago.  People I don't think I have ever talked to was coming up to me yesterday to see how I was feeling.  I was pretty confused at first wondering what they were talking about and hoping I was assuming right that they knew I was pregnant.  Don't get me wrong, I am appreciative with the concern these people are expressing, just stumped at how so many people know so quickly.  I guess I can just chalk it up to relief society, that should explain it all.

Another one of my favorites is EVERYONE, as soon as they find out you are pregnant, have to tell you how horrid their pregnancy was.  Again, I am not complaining since I like to share my woes just like everyone else, its just kind of funny.  I have also found out that as sick as I feel and as exhausted as I get doing absolutely nothing, its nothing compared to what it could be.  I have been under the impression that now that I am out of my first trimester that everything should be rainbows and stickers (everything I have read says its the easiest and everyone loves it) but I am finding that I am still sick, still exhausted and its not that uncommon to still be sick at this point.  I feel like I was lied to.  Stupid books and websites.

Along with everyone sharing their sickness woes they also like to tell you their horror stories.  Its a good thing I am hearing these things after I am pregnant since they would be a great deterrent at not having a family.  Our home teacher and his wife came by yesterday for their monthly visit and most of it was spent hearing horror stories or her c-section.  I am appreciative of the advice, since I was under the impression that c-sections healed faster and was easier on the body, etc.  There are so many things to think about and consider.  Then she heard about the tear in my placenta and uterus wall and she got me a little freaked out.  She was telling me about how bad that can be and it can only get worse and can lead to death (I didn't know it was that serious).  She isn't the first to tell me about how bad this can be and that it can get worse as the baby grows if it doesn't heal, which makes me want to do even less to make sure it heals.  I will get more info when I go to the doctors though, just to make sure I know for sure whats going on.  She left telling me to call her and she will clean my house cause I shouldn't even be sweeping and as nice as it sounds to have someone come clean my house for me I would never consider asking her to since Ross and I are both adults who should be able to keep a little house clean, and I do what I can when I'm not too sick.

Now to just tell my boss. 

So insane

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I have a baby inside of me.  I mean, I knew I was pregnant but to see the ultra sound and the that it actually looks like a baby now and its inside of me.  Its so crazy.

We had to go in for an emergency ultra sound yesterday and we got to see the baby early, my appointment is in Feb.  On Tuesday I was going to get up and get ready for water aerobics and found that I had been bleeding quite a bit.  In a slight panic I called my mom to see if this was something that was normal, all I have heard that is any bleeding when pregnant is a VERY bad thing.  I called the doctor on call and found out that there is really nothing I could do.  I could go to the ER where they can charge me lots of money and they would do an ultra sound, but if I was miscarrying then there is nothing they could do or I could wait and go into the doctors office the next day and just have my co-pay and they would do an ultra sound and see if the baby was still there.  I opted to wait.  My mom came over and my dad and Jared offered to come help Ross give me a blessing.  I called first thing yesterday morning to see when I could get in and I had to wait until 4pm for my appointment, talk about a long day.  When we went into the doctors they took me right in and did the ultra sound and this is what popped up on the screen.  I hadn't expected to see such a well defined baby, I think I was expecting more of a blob, but was really happy that I hadn't miscarried.  It was just a rip between the placenta and the outer wall?  I don't remember everything she was explaining, I was too in awe of this thing inside of me.  Long story short, things are ok but I just can't do anything really physical or strenuous for the next 3 weeks.  I fear I will get bored just sitting around and that it will be harder to get back into working out after the 3 weeks.

We also found out that I was a month ahead of what was originally thought so we got a new due date of Aug 4th.  Which kind of explains some.  My pants are so snug around the waist right now, part of which is cause I am SO bloated all the time.  I have had to jimmy rig my pants and have a rubber band hold them closed cause to do them up its way too tight.  I also have to wear Ross' shirts since they are long enough to cover my rubber band pants and in case my zipper gets all the way undone you can't see it.  I have been wearing sandals for the last couple of weeks cause my feet gets so hot and if I could fit into my shorts I would probably be wearing those too.  However, considering I eat every couple of hours, sometimes constantly, I haven't gained any weight yet, just lots of bloat.

Ross laughs at the ultra sound cause our baby has no arms and the feet are kind of floating and my mom pointed out that the kid already has quite the gut.  Hopefully this kid isn't doomed from the start.

I've been tagged!!

I've been tagged! The deal is to answers the questions below. This will be fun . . .


1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?

I don't see Havoc as a child or anything like that but he is def part of the family.  He is still an animal but when he jumps to my aid when Ross is picking on me or when he spends his day cuddling up with me when I am sick in bed its hard to think of him as just some animal in the house.
2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

This is a tough one cause I don't really have big things that I really want to happen, just lots of little things.  I would love to be able to complete everything on my bucket list, but that would be a hard one since I am always adding to it, it is great though when I can cross off something and put a date next to it.  It would be great for Ross to be out of school and in a different job.  I think maybe just to be content with my life and what is happening in it instead of always wanting something different or something more.


3. What is the one thing most hated by you?

Fake people.  I don't care if you like me or not, just don't try to pretend that you do or that we are BFF.  I know that not everyone is going to like me and I am ok with that and on the other end don't expect me to have to like you either.  Nothing I have had experience with lately, just something I hate.
4. what would you do with a billion dollars?

Never work again.  And travel. 
5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

A good run with just the right music.
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

I can't pick just one cause I feel blessed to have people that love me and that I have people in my life I can love. 


7. What is your bedtime routine?

Its usually quite the process.  I have to get my lunch and snacks ready for work the next day and I usually sit in bed watching tv, trying to comb out the dog and stay awake long enough to get everything done.  It takes a little bit of time cause I hate to make my lunch and gather snacks and never know what my stomach will accept so it takes a while.  Then I wash my face and brush my teeth and after crawling into bed remember its my turn to take the dog out.  When I get back into bed I put the sleep timer on the tv on so when Ross comes to bed he has some light and he doesn't forget to turn it off, and crash.  I fall asleep very easy but its so hard to stay asleep the last 8 weeks.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?


We were both in California and were friends for a year.  Then we both left California, me to Utah and him to Louisiana, where we were friends for a couple months, then tried the long distance thing for 6 months, then were friends for the next 3 years when I gave in and decided to try dating him again (we were finally in the same state) and well, the rest is history.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?

I can't think of one person or type of person in particular.  I like to watch how others do things so I can replicate it and put my own twist to it.


10. What kinds of books do you read?

Free books.  I don't have one type of book I always read, sometimes I will read anything I can put my hands on.  I do tend to lean towards fantasy and murder mystery.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

I see myself with a family and with Ross having a good secure job so we are financially secure, secure enough that we have extra money left over after bills for extras.


12. What’s your fear?

I've always had a fear of turning off the shower and opening the curtains and finding a stranger in my bathroom with me naked and vulnerable.
13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?

I don't think I would.  Outer space isn't really a draw for me.
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?


Money def doesn't buy happiness so I would rather be with my husband and happy than to have all the money I would ever need.  I think I would eventually become very lonely if I just had money.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?


I turn on my lamp so I don't fall back to sleep.  Then I think evil thoughts about having to get up at 5:15 for work.


16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?


I think it would have to be his procrastination.  Some days it drives me insane, but he has so much on his plate right now with work and school full time that I try to give him slack on it.


17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?


I wouldn't.  I like my name and can't see me being someone other than Britney.


18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

I do eventually, some things take longer than others to forgive.  I think some things I will never forget, I just have to realize that the person made a mistake.  I wouldn't be able to stay with him if I was unable to forgive him.  And I want him to forgive my mistakes so it would be hypocritical of me to not forgive him.  There are a few things that, later down the road I may be able to forgive, but would definitely end our relationship.


19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

I am having a hard enough time finding something to eat today.  My stomach is so finicky right now that eating is quite the process.  I would love to find something I could eat for the next 6 months, even if just one item, that meets all my nutritional needs.

Whats going on?

My husband has become brainwashed.  Before we got married he didn't really care about Thanksgiving, one year him and his mother went to a health food store and picked up a couple items from the cafe and called that dinner.  When he told me what he was doing for his Thanksgiving dinner I thought it was very blasphemous and was shocked that someone would do something like that for a Thanksgiving dinner.  I grew up very differently, VERY differently.  Every year we go to my grandma's house and have the traditional dinner, complete with pie and ice cream for desert.  A couple times Ross has scoffed at my idea of Thanksgiving dinner.  However, over the past 4 years, since he has been stuck in Utah for the holidays, he has been coming to dinner with my family and I heard one of the most shocking statements from him a couple weeks ago.  He told me he was converted to the traditional Thanksgiving dinner and that's the way Thanksgiving should be.  I was pretty shocked, that's for sure.  And since he made that statement all he talks about is Thanksgiving and how many days away it was and how he was looking forward to the food (he even made a request to my mom for extra stuffing so he can eat as much as he wants).  It has gotten so bad and its brought up so much that yesterday I told him I am not discussing anything about Thanksgiving Day, Thanksgiving dinner, Thanksgiving food, any kind of countdown or anything to do with the day.   He is getting more excited for Thanksgiving than for Christmas, give him time on that and I think he will come around.

Ross and I were raised very differently in very different parts of the country.  A few times it has caused a few wrinkles but for the most part its great, we both have very different ideas and traditions to bring to the table and as we have started our little family its great to try to pull from the different traditions we both grew up with and make our own traditions.  I think its fun to try to pull some of the Southern traditions in, some are pretty different from Utah, which makes it more fun. 

Man I'm Ambitious

Yesterday my day revolved around my cursed pumpkins. I haven't had much luck with them from the start. The pumpkin plants almost died when I planted them, then they grew out of control and took over part of my tomatoes. I had over 40 blossoms and lots of little pumpkins start but the stinking bugs in my garden decided to eat all but two. Fortunately there is only 2 people in our house so both of us were able to carve a pumpkin. I wanted to use the pumpkins for puree so to keep them fresh we carved them late Saturday afternoon and I think they turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.

Even with all the wind and rain we had on Saturday night they stayed lit and looked pretty cool.

Yesterday I had decided I needed to get the pumpkins taken care of before they started to go bad. I love pumpkin cookies and pumpkin rolls and basically anything pumpkin at this time of the year and I figured I had these two pumpkins and honestly how hard could it be to make puree from them so I won't have to buy it. I thought I could find out how to do it online and it would be a breeze, I have never been so wrong before in my life. Online it said to slice it into quarters and bake them at 350 for one hour. I tried that and it ended up taking 2 hours for one half of my pumpkin to bake to the point of being able to remove the "meat". During those 2 hours the temp in my house continued to rise to a very unbearable heat. When it was finally done I then scraped the meat out and put it in my food processor then into freezer bags. As soon as I took the first half out of the oven I put the 2nd half in and it took another couple of hours, luckily I was able to go for a run while it was baking. On the 2nd pumpkin I decided to try a different method. I tried what we did last weekend when we made applesauce. I sliced the pumpkin and then cut the skin off and put them in a pot with a little water to steam. If anyone decides to puree their own pumpkin, THIS IS THE WAY TO DO IT. It was a bazillion times easier and like 2 years quicker. It didn't smell as good as the baking pumpkin did but who cares when it takes 40 min start to finish versus 4 hours. All in all I spent 6 1/2 hours doing pumpkins, but I do have 27 cups of puree to use that I won't have to pay for.

Now I want to try to make some cookies or pumpkin roll with it to see how it works compared to the canned stuff. I will just remind myself that it was free.

My other project this weekend was some cookies I made. I found this recipe online and wanted to try it but didn't have a reason to just make cookies. I like cookies but with just Ross and I its hard to eat a whole bunch of cookies, or sometimes its too easy to eat a whole bunch of cookies and we didn't need them in the house. (I usually end up giving baked goods to my neighbors when I am in a baking mood, however, these weren't something I wanted to take to my neighbors) My mom was doing a Halloween dinner while my grandma was down so I volunteered to make them and my sister and I got together on Saturday to try them. I think they turned out pretty good, I almost had a couple of my nephews convinced they were real witch fingers.