Looking back a few years

Being pregnant a 2nd time people have asked a lot of questions or made a lot of comments which have gotten me to thinking back to a time before kids.  Back then life was VERY different.  For one thing we had disposable money, we could do frivolous things with our money and still have some left over.  We could lounge in bed all morning on Sunday and not feel guilty.  If I got sick I could stay in bed and relax and take care of myself.  I could get up 20 min before I had to leave for work and get myself fully ready and out the door on time. Things were very simple back then.  Ross was working full time and going to school full time so I still didn't see him as much as I would have wanted but when he was home it was just us doing whatever we wanted.  I think life was pretty good.  My husband would NEVER believe this but there was a time before we got married and for a little while after we got married that I had thought about not having kids.  I thought life would be much simpler and more care free if we just didn't have kids and it was just the two of us, we could travel when we want, stay out late if we wanted, we had extra money to go to dinner, you know, the important things in life.  And I was right, it was a lot simpler.  Then I started watching friends and family members with their little kids and the activities they could do with their kids and I started to rethink having kids.  I realized that I wanted to be a mom and have almost never looked back (except for Sunday mornings when I would love to lounge in bed for a while before having to get up).  Yes, life is so very different from what it was before kids, its definately more complicated and a little more stressful.  My sweet husband has allowed me to work part time which has cut back on any extra money we had, we do have to plan a little more before we head out the house (you learn pretty quickly when you are away from home with a small child who has blown out his diaper and you don't have extra diapers or a change of clothes), we are usually tethered to the house after 7pm so we can put the little one down, we don't eat out much because its not as easy with a small child and we can't really afford it, and Ross is still working and going to school.  But with all the changes, which may seem like a lot of negatives, our lives have become so much more rich.  I wouldn't trade my little boy for all the lazy Sunday mornings or all the trips I could be taking.  When I got pregnant with my first my boss at the time told me that my life was over.  That I would be stuck at home all day, can't go anywhere and do anything, that I would even have to ask to go to the bathroom, which that last one is kind of true since my little boy sits outside the bathroom crying until I come out.  Life still goes on, even with kids, we still travel, we still get out of the house for the day, we have the same life we had before, just with more added to it.  There is nothing like being exhausted and having my little boy pull on my arm so he can give me a kiss and tell me he loves me out of the blue.  Or watching the mischevious glint he gets when he is going to do something he isn't supposed just to see how long he can get away with it.    I know the lack of money and lack of husband is temporary.  One day Ross will be out of school and in a good job making lots of money and we can look back at this time and see how it changed us and made us grow.  I'm excited for the birth of my daughter, really, I am.  I am so over being pregnant.  I'm excited to see my kids grow and become friends and to see the mischeif they get each other into. When we went to DisneyLand a couple years ago it was so much more fun to watch my little boy as he enjoyed the rides and discovered new things.  Occasionally I do think what if we never had kids, what if we didn't have a family and yes things would be easier but I see how much we have gained from this one little boy in our life. And I would miss out on the little things like these.

This one may be a little hard to see, he lost his car under the bathroom door while I was using the bathroom and he was sticking his tiny little hand under the door to try to find it and remind me he was still there.

 

 Even though his cat is the most depressed cats its one of my favorite things he does besides laying flat on the floor, knowing I can't pick him up hoping I can't get him to change a diaper or put PJ's on.