Epiphany

Tonight after dinner I took Ryder and Havoc into the living room and put the gate up, blocking them from the kitchen so I wouldn't have to keep pulling Ryder out of the trash and the dog off the table.  For some reason Ryder really didn't like this.  He screamed and cried and started to throw the biggest fit.  At first I was pretty frustrated, due to his short nap he was being a little dramatic and I am exhausted from my long day and wasn't in the mood to deal with it.  But then I had an epiphany:  at almost 16 months old my little guy can't express himself, and though he is tired and crabby, he still has feelings and he is entitled to his feelings.  I know when I am feeling mad or sad I want someone to hear me and know why. He can't tell me why that made him so mad and he can't tell me how to make things better.  Normally I try to find something to distract him and lessen his crying but I just scooped him up and we sat in the chair and rocked.  He leaned against my chest screaming and crying and wiping his snot all over my chest.  I just loved him and rocked.  After a couple min he calmed down and stopped the crying but he stayed snuggled up to me and just let me rock him.  I was afraid to move and ruin the moment.  After a little while of rocking he was done and got down, happy as can be and went back to playing.  I must say, this was one of my favorite moments in a long time, just rocking while my little boy snuggled up to me, I hardly noticed how wet my chest was.  I know in a few years he will be "too old" for it and I just need to remember that even if I am tired I am not the only one and though he can't tell me what is wrong he should be able to feel how he feels and I will keep loving and snuggling even after he can tell me what is wrong.  And really, he is pretty much the cutest little thing.