All About Time

The time is getting closer and closer for this baby to be born.  I have a bit of anticipation mingled with . . . its not fear or regret, I'm not sure what the other feeling is.  I want to meet this little guy that has been throwing my body out of whack for the last 9 months but then wonder if I am really ready for this.  Its a big change in life for our little family and a lifetime commitment.  As the time gets closer I have been feeling the pressure to get the baby's room ready and to tie up loose ends, finish some projects that have been needing to be finished and just keep up with daily life.  Its much more difficult when you have no energy.

I am not down to weekly doctors appointments.  At this weeks appointment my doctor added another pound to his estimate on how big the baby will be at birth.  I am not really too concerned about the size of the baby, one way or another he will come out of me.  He also told me that with my age and the fact that this is my first baby there is a 90% chance that he will be late, and he made it sound like it was possibly a week or more late.  I am not sure how I feel about this.  I have some very mixed emotions.  On one hand I am very ready to be done, I want to be able to move without the pain.  On the other hand, the longer he waits the more time I have to get enjoy the summer and swim and not be a parent yet.  I do try to cherish all the movements and kicks but as they are getting harder its less enjoyable for me.  But at least I know he is alive and active and should be healthy. 

I have had many friends on facebook have babies in the last week.  I made a comment on facebook that I am starting to get jealous of all those that get to have their babies recently and a friend's response made me think:  "be grateful that he is still in there. I would not wish my experience on anyone. my twins were born at 28 weeks and leaving them at the hospital is really hard. just hang in there, let him take the time to grow and develop and take time for yourself now while you still have it. love ya and good luck."  I have been very blessed that other than a few problems at the beginning of my pregnancy everything has gone pretty smoothly and there really haven't been much in the way of complications.  I am going to try to just enjoy the last couple weeks of freedom of not being a parent and hope and pray that any memory of the pain and discomfort I've had in the last couple of months goes away when I get to meet this little guy.